Today was restless.

Restless in pursuit of lesson plans and house cleaning. Pointlessness and ANGER! All geared towards 2nd Quarter of the school year blues, I presume. It's like I, my efforts at school, have hit a brick wall stand still, and no matter which way I look at it, it's frustrating, and negative, pointless, negative again, and unmotivating to me and the students.

(details behind all these statemetns aside)

Talking to dad tonight I was gleeful to hear about his Columbus Baseball Talk trip. It truly would be amazing to "go on tour" to talk about something you love. There is preparation and stress involved, but the reality of it is: talking about something you love.

It's wonderful to see how amazingly hard dad has worked to get to this point. How amazingly intelligent and wonderfully gifted God has made him and Joan to be en route to doing cross-country, cross cultural talks on quilts and guerilla families!

Yet, it's a downer to only be 27, and on track to teach 30 years. Well, NOT 30 years in my world, but you know...where else is there to go in education---either 30 years teaching with options of administrative, and/or move up and out to college education, etc.

Teach high school or lower for 30 years and you're done!? That's the only goal here?! Put your years in, then collect your measily retirement (actually commendable compared to other pension plans).

30 YEARS!??!

Whether I am victim of this generational slothfulness and indecision or not, a lot of times this job is a straight jacket to my existence, my creativity, my being! 98% of the time I ignore it, but today for some reason I choose not to ignore it, and it took over my afternoon negatively.

Choices to be layed out and choosen is what I have to pursue.

Choices huh? America? Land of the free, independance, opportunity, choices? I shall exercise my liberties from here on out.

Starting with lists of things to accomplish revamped, redirected, reinvented!

More enthusiastically toward God's usage of me and His gifts. Sixpence none the richer it is!

p.s. J wish you could have stormed the field tonight :( Are you headed to Atlanta?